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Christian Jokes: What Kids Prayed For

Today, I would like to share here something funny. We often hear a famous saying: “laughter is the best medicine.” True or not, I hope these clean jokes will brighten your day and end up smiling for the rest of the day, week or even months! Read on!

 

Dear God, Did you mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident? – Norma

 

Dear God,  Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don’t You just keep the ones you have now? – Jane

 

Dear God, Who draws the lines around the countries? – Nan

Dear God, I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay? – Neil

 

Dear God, Thank you for my baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy. – Joyce 

 

Dear God, It rained for our whole vacation and is my father mad! He said some things about you that people are not supposed to say, but I hope you will not hurt him anyway – Your friend (but I am not going to tell you who I am)

 

Dear God, Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before. You can look it up. – Bruce

 

Dear God, If we come back as something, please don’t let me be Jennifer Horton, because I hate her. Denise

 

Dear God, I want to be just like my daddy when I get big, but not with so much hair all over. – Sam

 

Dear God, I think the stapler is one of your greatest inventions. – Ruth

 

Dear God,  I think about you sometimes, even when I’m not praying. – Elliott

 

Dear God, I bet it is very hard for you to love all the people in the world. There are only four people in our family and I can never do it. – Nan

 

Dear God, Of all the people who worked for you, I like Noah and David the best. – Rob

funny kids prayer

Dear God,  My brother told me about being born, but it doesn’t sound right. They are just kidding, aren’t they?  – Marsha

 

Dear God,  If you watch me in church on Sunday, I’ll show you my new shoes. – Mickey

 

Dear God, We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday School, we learned that you did it. So I bet he stole your idea. – Sincerely, Donna

 

Dear God, I do not think anybody could be a better God. Well I just want you to know that I am not just saying this because you are God already. – Charles

 

Dear God, I didn’t think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset you made on Tuesday. That was cool!  – Eugene

 

Dear God, Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother. – Larry 

 

 Author Unknown



Interesting Resources:

Preacher Joke Book 
Gospel Comedy All Stars 2: These Aint Your Mommas Church Jokes 
Angels Laughing: The Very Best Spiritual and Religious Humor 
The Big Book of Church Jokes 





Clean Joke: A Clever Student Argues!

In one fine day at school a nearly upset teacher asked a sleepy student:

TEACHER: Why didn’t you study?

clean joke teacher studentSTUDENT: A year has 365 days for you to study. After taking away 52 Sundays, there are only 313 days left. There are 50 days in the summer that is way too hot to work so there are only 263 days left. We sleep 8 hours a day, in a year, that counts up to 122 days so now we’re left with 141 days. If we fooled around for only 1 hour a day, 15 days are gone, so we are left with 126 days. We spend 2 hours eating each day, 30 days are used in this way in the year, and we are left with 96 days in our year. We spend 1 hour a day speaking to friends and family, that takes away 15 days more and we are left with 81 days. Exams and tests take up at least 35 days in your year; hence you are only left with 46 days. Taking off approximately 40 days of holidays, you are only left with 6 days. Say you are sick for a minimum of 3 days; you’re left with 3 days in the year to study! Let’s say you only go out for 2 days…You’re left with 1 day. But that 1 day is your birthday. That’s why I did not study.

Teacher: Class dismissed.

Source and author: Anonymous
Photo credit: Pinterest
Tags: clean joke, humor, funny jokes, teacher student jokes

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